Are your values truly guiding your actions, or are they just words on a page? In this insightful episode of Yuwab, Saeed Alghafri explores the critical gap between the values we claim and the values we actually live. He discusses how trust erodes when actions don't align with words in both personal and professional settings. Through real-world examples and practical exercises, Saeed guides listeners on how to identify, embody, and align their core values to build authentic relationships and foster genuine leadership.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode
Timestamps
Remember, your values are not just words—they are your actions in motion. When they align, trust and authenticity flourish. Keep growing, keep aligning your actions with your values, and lead with integrity.
If this episode resonated with you, please do subscribe to the channel for more insightful conversations that help you thrive and lead better.
(0:00) And you know, when people talk about values, they are the values which we claim to have (0:06) and then the values who we actually live. How many times have you seen in your personal life (0:13) where someone says, you know, my family is first. And then the next time you go to a dinner or a (0:21) lunch, they're actually not there.
And when people don't see that you live your values, (0:25) trust is not there anymore. When you go to a meeting, leaders actually do not accommodate (0:33) any idea and shutting people down. This usually happens when you don't have enough time to (0:40) understand your true values, honestly.
Marhaba and how's it going, everyone, (0:51) and welcome back to Yuwab. I'm your host, Saeed Alghafri. Yuwab is where we keep it real.
(0:59) So thank whoever shared this episode with you and thank you for being with me. And if you're here, (1:06) it tells me that you value clarity, growth, and also authenticity. And that's exactly (1:15) what we're going to talk about today.
We're going to talk about values. And you know, (1:23) when people talk about values, they are the values which we claim to have, (1:29) and then the values who we actually live. And I'm one of those guys who love values. I just (1:37) love to walk into a room or a company or even a house and see what basically their values are. (1:44) So let me ask you this question. How many times have you heard a company saying, (1:51) we value transparency, teamwork, innovation? How many times have you heard that? But then (2:01) you basically walk into a room very excited that, whoa, this company is doing all that.
(2:07) And then it's absolutely the opposite of transparency. People are really not (2:12) transparent. People are fighting.
There's no teamwork. And honestly, innovation, zero. (2:17) And how many times have you seen in your personal life where someone says, (2:23) you know, my family is first.
And then the next time you go to a dinner or a lunch, (2:30) they're actually not there. And this is multiple times. This tells you that people are not really (2:36) walking the talk.
You know, the gap here is that there is a really a problem between what you state (2:43) to have as values and what you live. And when people don't see that you live your values, (2:51) trust is not there anymore. Let me give you an example.
This is something that I see. (2:56) A lot of companies says that innovation is very important. And then their leaders says, (3:03) you should innovate. Innovation is this, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. And then you go into a (3:09) meeting. And you know, innovation is all about someone saying that idea or saying, (3:15) oh, why don't we change that? They go into a meeting and someone says something.
I'm like, (3:20) this guy, the leader who says that innovation is important, (3:24) they're just shutting them down and say, that's not a good one. What do you think will happen? (3:31) What will happen is that next time no one will speak. And innovation is not led by the company.
(3:37) Let me give you another example. A lot of leaders says, leadership, leadership, (3:41) let's innovate, let's have a great technology and all that. And you're excited.
You go there (3:47) into, let's say, a meeting room with a full of engineers and you see them having a logbook, (3:52) logging the activities. Do you call that innovation? That's absolutely not innovation (3:58) whatsoever. So this is something that happens when it comes to basically living the values (4:05) and saying the values.
Now, before we go into a little bit of details, (4:12) okay, what we need to basically figure out is how can we spot that? How can we know that (4:18) we're living the values or we don't have the values? But most importantly is that what I see (4:24) today is that companies really have less time implementing the values. And even before that, (4:32) they just have values, copy paste from a company that they've loved. And then they say, you know (4:38) what, this is something that we're going to do. Not really understanding what values are needed (4:44) to drive a strategy or a purpose. All right. And honestly, they just say it.
And then they say, (4:52) okay, these are the values, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. And then they tell people to do it. (4:57) But they're not really factored in their actions.
(5:01) And that's a fundamental thing and flows I see in companies. Now, how could you spot that? (5:10) You know, the first thing is there are honestly, when you basically walk into a meeting room (5:16) or a company or anything, you look at the words and the behaviors. (5:22) When someone says that we value well-being, we love well-being.
And then when you basically (5:30) go through the day, you have back to back meetings. And honestly, someone is calling (5:36) you at 10 p.m. and 11 p.m. and demanding for the work to be done ASAP. What do you think? (5:44) That's not really living the values.
The second thing is policies versus practice. (5:50) And this is very important. When you say in your policy that we believe in fairness, (5:55) in promotion, et cetera, and then next day, you see someone promoted because he's liked (6:02) or they played the politics much more better, or basically they joined yesterday (6:07) and they are now promoted.
What do you think the others would feel? It's not really clicking. (6:14) And then the third one, which is my favorite, absolute favorite, you walk into a meeting (6:20) and I see a lot of companies say, speak up, speak up, speak up. When you go to a meeting, (6:27) leaders actually do not accommodate any idea and shutting people down and telling them, (6:34) you know what, I know better than you.
That's basically not living the value. So these are (6:39) three lenses that I see that I can spot whether the values are lived or not. (6:44) Now let's reflect on this thing.
Why this really happens? Honestly, why does this happen? (6:53) And let me tell you something. We all have blind spots. We're not really perfect at the end of the (6:59) day.
Maybe we say we value growth, but our actions are showing that we are not really (7:07) welcoming feedback. Or maybe we are really saying that we value relationships. But you know, (7:15) when we basically look at the way we operate and work, we put work first.
We really don't care (7:22) about interacting with each other at work. Alright So why do you think your actions betrays your words? (7:31) What's really behind that? You know, this usually happens when you don't have enough time to (7:39) understand your true values, honestly. So values usually comes when you have a clear strategy and (7:48) direction.
And again, when you don't have that done very well, what ultimately happens is that (7:57) you're just going to end up with values which you're not going to live or you're going to live (8:00) maybe part of it. Let me share with you a story. My story. I honestly left the corporate world (8:07) this year and I used to live some specific values which were absolutely fitting my time when I used (8:16) to be in the corporate life. When I tried to basically take these same values with me to (8:22) outside the corporate life, I couldn't really function. I was really very much thinking about (8:29) the corporate life.
I'm a corporate junkie at the end of the day. I had to adjust my values because (8:35) again, my strategy changed, my direction changed, and I had to change my values. (8:43) And that's very important when it comes to basically having the values.
(8:48) All right, now let me leave you with maybe this exercise and this could help you identify (8:57) your values. The first thing is pull out a piece of paper as usual and then write down your three (9:04) top personal values. Really, just write it down.
Maybe five and then shortlist them to three. (9:11) And then ask someone very close to you who understands you and say, listen my friend, (9:17) why don't you share with me also three values that you see in me? Now compare those. You may hate (9:24) that person because they gave you feedback, but I would go and say thank you so much and I appreciate (9:29) your feedback.
If they don't match, do not panic. This is your starting point and that's how you (9:37) basically grow. That's a very simple thing, not really complex, not really having a really difficult (9:44) way to identify your values, but that's the start way for you to identify it and know what to do.
(9:49) That's exactly the same which should be done in companies. Now let me remind you of this. (9:56) Let's say you have three or five values. Always remember that you're going to have some value (10:03) clashing with each one. So you may have a value which is really high and a value which is low. (10:10) It's normal.
You need to keep in mind that you have to flex them when it's necessary. So value (10:18) clashing is really something that will come. It's important to flex them.
The second thing is, (10:24) when you think about the strongest leaders, the healthiest, let's say, cultures out there, (10:29) happy families, honestly, it's not about the mission statement that they have. (10:35) It's all about the words and the actions that they live, they have to match. They really have to match.
(10:43) And just remember, when values are strong, when people see that the values are lived in a company, (10:48) people would start believing that, hey, you know what, there is really hope in this place. (10:56) And probably I need to believe in it. And then you see trust happening.
And then it will become (11:03) really unstoppable and unshakable. And that's very important. And just to remind you, and this (11:11) important and I mentioned that, think of your values as you in action.
So you as a person, (11:20) you are values in action. So if you have three values, let's say you have authenticity as one (11:26) of your value. You need to show your true self. That's basically values. So think of values as you (11:34) in action. And always remember that they will clash.
So it's like how you manage the values, (11:41) which one should you lower, which one should you make high. And it's always important to walk (11:48) these values. All right.
This is what we believe in Yuwab. We believe that by making you better, (11:57) we make you a much more better leader. We really want you to unlock your potential (12:05) so that you can thrive and go beyond your potential as much as possible.
(12:11) If this episode hit home for you, share it. This is important for me and for someone out there who (12:19) may really need this episode. All right.
So until next time, keep growing and keep subscribing to (12:27) my channels and take care of yourself and those who you care about.