Have you ever felt like you don’t deserve your success or doubted if you really belong where you are? Maybe you work hard but still hear a voice telling you ‘You’re not good enough.’ If this sounds familiar, then today’s episode on imposter syndrome is for you In this episode, Saeed Alghafri dives into the reality of imposter syndrome—a common but often unspoken struggle among high achievers. Saeed shares personal stories and practical strategies to identify the imposter voice, separate feelings from facts, build internal confidence, and embrace growth despite discomfort. Saeed encourages owning achievements authentically while avoiding reliance on external validation.
What Will You Learn?
Timestamps:
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(0:00) You're like, you know what? I don't deserve a promotion (0:03) and I need to work much more harder for me to go and ask. (0:08) Or maybe you're shy. (0:11) This is what I mean by imposter syndrome.
(0:19) Marhaba and how's it going, everyone? (0:21) And welcome back to Yuwab. (0:23) I'm your host, Saeed Alghafri. (0:26) Yuwab is where we keep it real.
(0:29) If you're here, it tells me that clarity and growth (0:32) is your priority in life and work. (0:37) And that's why I'm here. (0:38) I understand what you're going through (0:40) and I've been there to myself.
(0:42) And I will guide you through real conversations (0:45) from my experience as a CEO and a well-being executive coach. (0:49) One more thing. (0:51) If you're new, special welcome to you.
(0:54) And thank whoever shared this episode with you. (0:57) And if you feel that this episode is beneficial, (1:00) please share it with someone who needs it. (1:04) Today's episode is an episode that I really love.
(1:09) And I've also been a victim of it. (1:12) And I see a lot of high achievers who are really a victim of it. (1:17) And they don't like to admit it. (1:20) I only recently knew a term that what is this thing called? (1:25) It's a terminology called imposter syndrome. (1:30) Now, it took me a lot of time to understand what this means. (1:33) So for now, just leave the meaning.
(1:38) Okay. (1:39) Let's go through these situations and tell me if you are one of them. (1:45) Imagine you have worked very hard to reach where you are today.
(1:51) Just you've worked for 20 years or let's say 10 years or even five years. (1:56) And you have that nagging voice whispering that is telling you, (2:01) you know what? (2:02) You don't belong here. (2:04) All right.
(2:06) Or maybe you've completed this impossible project. (2:09) And I've seen a lot. (2:12) And people are coming to you.
(2:13) I'm like, hey, well done, man. (2:15) And they're complimenting you. (2:16) And they're really telling you, well done, da, da, da, da, da, da, da.
(2:20) And you are like either changing the subject (2:24) or you are like, you know, I'm just doing my job. (2:27) God damn it, man. (2:29) Just own that great work.
(2:34) Or it could be like, you know what? (2:36) It's just luck, man. (2:37) So it's just luck. (2:39) I mean, I mean, come on. (2:41) I'm just lucky to have it. (2:43) You know, when someone tells me that I have that angry emoji. (2:47) Okay.
(2:48) On my face, honestly, because come on, just own it. (2:51) This is something you've done. (2:52) It's an achievement.
(2:54) So why not really show off a little bit? (2:58) Or those, maybe this is you, you know? (3:01) And I remember I was there one time in the past. (3:05) You're like, you know what? (3:06) I don't deserve a promotion. (3:08) And I need to work much more harder for me to go and ask.
(3:13) Or maybe you're shy. (3:15) This is what I mean by imposter syndrome. (3:18) Or it could be anything else where it's really stealing that moment from you.
(3:25) Let's dive deep into this. (3:28) Now, if you are any of the situations we discussed above, (3:33) where you really don't feel that you deserve, (3:37) this is what to do about it. (3:41) The first thing is, you know, you will always have that voice in your mind.
(3:48) Or brain. (3:50) What I ask you is that, the first thing is, (3:54) recognize the voice. (3:56) And why are you having it? (3:59) Recognize it.
(4:01) Because imposter syndrome is not really truth. (4:06) And it's not really you. (4:09) It's always a thought. (4:11) Think of it this way. (4:12) And then that thought is really convert, does convert into a feeling. (4:18) And then it's really fear within you, wearing a suit.
(4:23) Honestly, if you, if I would picture it. (4:28) And usually you would have a voice in your head that says, (4:31) you're not really good enough. (4:33) And honestly, this is not your intuition.
(4:37) It's just your insecurity. (4:40) And again, very important is when I speak to people, (4:44) they really confuse this with being humble. (4:48) Completely different.
(4:50) Completely different. (4:53) So, what you should do about it is that, name it. (4:58) Give it a name.
(4:59) Okay? (5:01) You'll be like, oh, there's this imposter voice again. (5:06) It could be that insecurity coming. (5:10) Okay? (5:10) Just feel it.
(5:12) It could be like, oh, I should save the day. (5:15) Because of. (5:17) And I should please, you know, call that moment with anything.
(5:23) Because once you call it, it loses its power. (5:28) So, for now, all you have to do is recognize and name it. (5:33) For now.
(5:35) Now, let me tell you something. (5:36) I remember, this is a story that I remember recently, a few years ago. (5:43) I was part of a panel discussion. (5:46) And I'm really comfortable with panel discussions and presentations, usually. (5:50) Now, when I looked at the panelists in that panel, I'm like, wow. (5:56) They're like people of a higher status and much more known.
(6:01) I was thinking that I don't belong there, honestly speaking. (6:08) What happened is that, even worse, I mean, good for me. (6:12) I was like number two within the picture.
(6:14) So, I'm like, wow, that's really a good status for me. (6:17) Now, honestly, I felt like a fraud in that moment, honestly. (6:24) My confidence level was even below zero, to be honest with you.
(6:29) And this is one of the few moments where I felt really sweaty before I even got into the stage. (6:37) And what's really worse is that I like to have mine first. (6:41) Because I just go there, finish, and then leave.
(6:43) This one was somewhere midday. (6:45) So, I had to wait until midday. (6:49) Now, what happened in a panel discussion is that people ask questions, and then it's your turn (6:55) And, you know, when I went into the panel, got there, and then before the question comes in, (7:04) you know, I had that voice in my mind that was telling me that I really don't belong here. (7:11) I mean, what am I going to do? (7:13) I'm not, I wasn't really confident. (7:14) I was really looking at my iPad to make sure that I know the notes.
(7:18) And I've done this six or seven times. (7:20) So, it's not something new. (7:23) But that's basically what was going on in my mind.
(7:25) And then the question comes to me. (7:27) And I answered. (7:29) No problem.
(7:30) Everything was okay. (7:32) And then another voice came into my mind. (7:33) They were like, I was like, you know what? (7:36) Actually, that wasn't bad.
(7:38) And toward the end, I actually realized that I did very well. (7:44) And people came and said, wow, Said, you were like, you were like doing well. (7:49) I wasn't asking for them to come to me, but they were like very much pleased with what I delivered.
(7:55) So, recognize that voice in your mind, because then you can act toward it. (8:02) So, this is basically the first step. (8:05) The second step is try to separate facts from feelings.
(8:10) And I don't like, I mean, I would welcome feelings. (8:14) But I wouldn't really entertain feelings. (8:16) Like I would tell them, please come.
(8:18) But I'm not going to basically walk these feelings. (8:23) Let me give you a couple examples. (8:25) The first feeling is that, okay, I just got lucky.
(8:31) But the fact and the matter of fear is that you really studied hard and you worked hard (8:38) and you strategized and you delivered. (8:42) So, what's wrong with you? (8:45) Another example, you know, I'm just doing my job. (8:51) Listen, man, when you look at the facts, you delivered 5% of the company's net profit.
(9:00) That's a lot of money, man. (9:03) So, own it. (9:04) Why are you really going with the feeling that this is, I'm just doing my job? (9:11) So, what's really important in this step is that write it down.
(9:16) You see how I said the feeling? (9:18) Just write the facts. (9:19) When you write the facts, you earn the win. (9:23) And that's your actual action. (9:26) Trust me, it's harder for the mind to argue when there is an evidence. (9:31) And a lot of the people that I know is they just put it in their brain. (9:36) Honestly, that doesn't work.
(9:38) Write it down. (9:39) When you write it down, it's your evidence. (9:42) Even when anything happens, they will tell you, show us the evidence.
(9:46) They're not going to tell you what's in your brain. (9:48) So, naturally is, write it down, separate the facts from the feeling, and then that (9:54) would be your evidence. (9:54) All right? (9:56) The third thing here is, you know, stop outsourcing your confidence.
(10:03) One of the main thing that people love is recognition. (10:08) Trust me, recognition is a trap. (10:11) Specifically today in social media.
(10:14) Let's say you have a post and you have only one like. (10:18) Immediately in the back of your mind, you were like, yeah, people don't like me. (10:22) But maybe there are other reasons behind that.
(10:25) So, what happened is that recognition today is becoming our way to get more confident (10:32) in life. (10:33) Honestly, I've been a victim for recognition. (10:37) Without knowing, I thought that I don't like recognition.
(10:43) But honestly, recognition was my softest, one of my soft gaps when it comes to that (10:49) specifically. (10:51) And I'm like, what am I going to do about it? (10:53) But that's very much known to everyone. (10:56) Now, again, very important.
(10:58) This is not about context. (11:02) All right? (11:03) It's more about people relying on other people to praise them, to feel that they are worthy. (11:11) This is the most important thing.
(11:14) And if that doesn't happen, then your confidence level will be very much low. (11:19) So the most important thing here is that when you achieve something or when you have (11:25) succeeded to do something, own it. (11:28) Don't really wait for people to come and tell you, good job.
(11:32) OK, they may come and tell you a good job or well done or you've done great, awesome. (11:39) But own it first. (11:41) You celebrate that within yourself because you've done great, man.
(11:45) What are you waiting for? (11:47) What's wrong with you? (11:48) So reality is validate that within yourself first, OK? (11:53) And ask yourself a question. (11:56) Would I be really proud if no one notices this? (12:01) Because honestly, when you take away people from the equation, things are completely different. (12:08) It becomes just you and only you.
(12:11) Now, let me share with you a story. (12:12) I remember one time I coached someone. (12:19) This guy, he came to me after one event.
(12:25) And we were talking, we were talking, and we were talking. (12:29) And then I saw that his confidence level wasn't the usual. (12:34) I'm like, why? (12:35) What's happening, man? (12:37) Then we went through a lot. (12:39) Then he said, you know what, Saeed? (12:41) This is the first time people don't come to me after an event and tell me well done (12:48) or you did a great job. (12:53) And I'm like, why is that so important to you? (12:58) Because he said, I'm used to people to come to me after each event or let's say keynote (13:03) speech or whatever to come and tell me you did a good job. (13:06) And for this time, no one came.
(13:10) And what this told me is that this guy is very much relying on external validation for (13:17) him to get that confidence. (13:20) Then I was like, OK, let's let's dive even to the specific talk. (13:25) Why do you think what was actually was at all? (13:28) What was the reason behind you going and doing that event? (13:34) And then he was like, OK, because we did this.
(13:37) And honestly, when he was telling me what they did, it was just spectacular. (13:42) And then I ask him a question, I'm like, what do you think about what you just said? (13:45) And I repeated that. (13:47) And he was like, whoa, this is just awesome.
(13:52) And then we went deep and deep and deep. (13:56) And you know what? (13:56) What I noticed, his eyes just opened up so wide. (14:02) And he was like, Saeed, honestly, I wasn't really expecting this.
(14:06) But the truth of the matter is that. (14:09) This is what happens when you rely on external validation. (14:14) All right. (14:14) So when you think about the reasons and when you are convinced within yourself that you've (14:21) done a great job, then you've done a great job. (14:25) The fourth thing that I see is that, you know, with growth comes really pain or you'll have (14:33) to be uncomfortable. (14:35) Let me tell you something.
(14:36) When you step up to a bigger role, it's normal to feel abnormal. (14:44) You're going to feel really as if you don't belong there. (14:48) It's normal.
(14:50) Don't feel that it is abnormal for the time being. (14:53) And that's not really fraud. (14:55) OK, it's just you stretching yourself outside that comfort zone.
(15:01) Let me tell you something. (15:02) I'm very much I love really stretching. (15:04) And sometimes when you stretch a muscle, usually the first time is completely different than (15:10) the 10th time, because every time it's different.
(15:13) Every time it's different. (15:14) That's exactly you. (15:16) You're just stressing yourself outside that comfort zone.
(15:20) And you're really pushing the limits. (15:23) And I love that. (15:26) When you push the limits (15:28) You are going to sweat and it will really it will really itches you. (15:33) It will be like, what's what's really happening to me? (15:35) What's really happening in my body? (15:37) Why am I getting that feeling? (15:39) It's normal because you are growing and it's so beautiful. (15:44) It's really beautiful.
(15:46) Just remember that. (15:49) And also remember that the difference between fraud and growth, one is faking it because (15:56) you're fraud and the other one is you're learning in real time. (16:03) So growth is really very much a stage, a situation where you're going to be, where (16:10) you're going to sweat and it's going to sound abnormal.
(16:14) The fifth one here is. (16:17) And this is something I see from a lot of people is that share the stage, don't really (16:22) step off it. (16:23) Now, many high achievers and really successful people hide their success.
(16:29) And I see that. (16:32) Why is why do they do that is to avoid making others uncomfortable. (16:37) And this one, the second thing here is to please their bosses.
(16:42) So let's say that you do a great job. (16:46) You don't want to basically take credit and you would really give it to someone else. (16:51) Especially the bosses. (16:53) And I see people doing that a lot, especially engineers and experts. (17:01) Listen, you can always share credit without being disrespectful or without disappearing (17:10) from that specific success. (17:13) Let me give you a sentence and let's do that together.
(17:20) Let's say that you do a good job and then you're going to stand on, let's say, the (17:25) stage and it'd be like, you know, the team and I achieved that. (17:31) Let's say achieved 30% profit for the business. (17:35) And this is the highest profit that we've done in five years.
(17:40) How beautiful is that? (17:43) And then you'll be like, I'm very proud of the role I played. (17:48) See how you are basically now sharing the stage. (17:52) And now the most important one is special thanks to my boss.
(17:58) And don't forget the boss who played a key role in orchestrating this. (18:04) Now, again, I'm not trying to undermine the role of bosses out there. (18:07) It's very important.
(18:09) But again, you want to bring everyone, including yourself, to praise yourself in (18:16) that specific moment. (18:17) Look at how humble is this statement and you're still owning that success. (18:23) So beautiful, right? (18:27) The sixth thing here is keep a proof of competence file.
(18:32) What I mean by that is that just keep a record of all the wins and the successful (18:39) moments that you have. (18:40) Every compliment, award, email, praises, save it. (18:48) Now, what happens is that when that imposter syndrome shows up, all you need to do is just (18:54) look at it because it will be a reminder that you've done great in life and it's not an (19:00) accident (19:01) And that's the main intention from this record keeping. (19:08) Let me tell you something I've learned from a coach who used to coach sport teams a lot. (19:15) So one of the techniques that he taught me is that Saeed draw kind of like peaks, like (19:23) mountains, like peak, peak, peak, peak.
(19:27) And then on the peak, write what you've done very well. (19:33) And then when you go down, write what you haven't done very well over the years, let's (19:38) say from 2010 until 2025, for example. (19:43) And I have that, actually.
(19:44) I have it. (19:46) And every year I updated this. (19:49) Trust me, whenever I go through a situation which is really, you know, touching my credibility (19:55) or I feel that imposter syndrome coming, I look at that and oh, my God, it just takes (20:03) me five minutes.
(20:05) Honestly, to just realize that where I am today, I've done a lot. (20:13) Honestly, I've done a lot. (20:17) So keep a record of these.
(20:18) They become very useful when you need it. (20:21) The last thing here is we all have knowledge. (20:27) We all have knowledge.
(20:28) We have expertise. (20:29) Teach it. (20:30) Teach what you know.
(20:31) Don't keep it to yourself. (20:33) What happens is that when you guide someone or when you teach someone, you're going to (20:40) see what you taught and them. (20:43) So they're going to do great. (20:45) This person will do fantastic. (20:47) That person will do fantastic. (20:49) What happens is that when you see them, you know, you have that confidence that you've (20:56) done great in life.
(20:57) It's like your kids. (20:58) You know, when you see your kids graduating, even from primary school, you have that proud (21:04) moment. (21:05) Trust me, even when they start walking, that's exactly the same when you teach someone out (21:11) there because they need it and they're going to use it in a great way.
(21:15) It's just an amazing feeling when you create an impact. (21:20) And that's what I mean by this. (21:23) All right.
(21:23) So reach out to someone who needs to be taught. (21:27) Someone maybe do a mentorship where you can share methods and you're going to tell the (21:34) world how great you are, because ultimately you've created some beautiful impact out there. (21:42) And to recap on today's episode, and just for us to own that achievement, it means that (21:49) we need to go through these things.
(21:51) The first thing here is try to name that imposter voice so you can challenge it. (21:57) The second thing, try to balance between feelings and facts. (22:03) And then when you do that, try to build internal confidence and try not to have those external (22:10) validations.
(22:12) And then when you basically grow, the fourth thing, when you basically grow, it means that (22:19) you're going to go through discomfort and you're going to challenge yourself. (22:24) Then try to give credit to yourself without being disappearing from the whole success. (22:31) Very important.
(22:33) And what I like is try to keep a record or a proof of your wins, because this is what (22:40) you need when you go through tough situations. (22:43) And the last one, try to teach and reinforce those teachings to some other person, because (22:49) when you do that, you create impact not within yourself, but with other people. (22:57) Now, before we close, I want to leave you with this.
(23:01) Yuwab isn't just a podcast. (23:04) It's a space intentionally created for you to grow. (23:09) Here, we empower people with tools and also stories and mind shifts that unlock your full (23:18) potential personally and really professionally.
(23:22) Our mission is very simple, to reach more people and minds like yours and light more (23:28) paths like yours. (23:30) We can't do that alone. (23:32) I know you care about this mission.
(23:35) So one simple act, share this episode and subscribe. (23:39) That's all I ask. (23:41) So that this message reaches someone who truly needs it. (23:45) And I promise you that we're building a community, not a content, because it's really (23:52) transformational. (23:54) Until next time, take care of yourself and those who you care about. (23:58) Ma'a as-salāmu.