In this thought-provoking episode, Saeed Alghafri explores the contagious nature of stress, showing how a leader's emotional state can quickly ripple through their team and workplace. Drawing from real-life coaching stories and his experience as both a CEO and well-being executive coach, Saeed reveals why stress management is not just a personal responsibility, but a foundational aspect of effective leadership. The episode delivers powerful reminders about self-leadership, mindfulness, and the ripple effect of our energy in high-impact environments.
What Will You Learn?
Key Timestamps
Saeed closes with a powerful reminder: The best leaders excel not just in strategy, but in understanding people and mastering their own state of mind. Leadership begins with self-leadership—making your own well-being the anchor for a healthier, high-performing workplace.
Subscribe and share this episode with a leader who inspires you, because stress is contagious—and so is positive energy and growth.
(0:00) Stress is really contagious, good or bad. It spreads so quick. People know when you're stressed (0:07) and when you're not stressed.
And honestly, if you're stressed, you'll be the talk of the day (0:12) because people love to talk about negative stuff. Stress doesn't stay in your inbox. It really (0:17) shows up in your tone, in your decisions as well.
And the worst thing is that it shows in your body (0:22) language. Your team usually take cues from you, as simple as that. If you are in a good state, (0:28) they are gonna be in a good state.
Marhaba and how's it going, everyone? And welcome back to (0:39) Yuwab . I'm your host, Saeed Alghafri. Yuwab is where we keep it real.
If you're here, it tells (0:47) me that clarity and growth is your priority in life and also work and everything between them. (0:56) And that's why I am here. I understand you and I got your back.
You know, I've been there before (1:03) and I've done it and I'll guide you through real conversations from my experience as a CEO and a (1:10) well-being executive coach. One more thing. If you're new, special welcome goes to you and thank (1:18) whoever shared this episode with you. And also, I want to thank that person. And if you think that this (1:25) is this episode is beneficial, please share it with someone who needs it. All right.
So today's (1:32) episode is about something often underestimated. Now, what happens is that, you know, stress, (1:45) sometimes people talk about stress and you being stressed, but it's really contagious. (1:53) And whatever basically behavior that you are going through, it would really be going to the other (1:58) people as well.
It could be your team or anyone else. Why I know that? Because I'm a father, (2:05) I'm an entrepreneur and also a CEO. Now let's imagine that you and I are going through these (2:14) situations.
All right. So the first one is we walk into a meeting, meeting room, everyone is sitting, (2:21) you know, the boss is there, the leader walks in, very calm, focused, and very much present. (2:30) Picture that.
Now imagine you walk into a room where that person is tense, very much stressed (2:39) and rushing. It's exactly the same agenda. It's the same people, like the same usual victims or (2:47) suspects.
But what you notice is that there are two completely different energies. What do you (2:55) think the outcome would be? Completely different. When you're calm, when you're basically much more (3:02) present, even that meeting will go very smooth and everyone will be basically very much better, (3:08) even if you don't reach an outcome.
In that situation, little that you're going to gain (3:14) from that meeting. Now imagine, okay, you may tell me, okay, Saeed I'm not a leader, my Khalid, don't (3:21) worry. Let's say that we have a friend.
Okay. And we are a bunch of people. Imagine those two (3:29) situations with that friend, stressed, tense friend that goes with a group of people.
What (3:35) do you think will happen? the guy will ruin everyone's energy, when you have someone who's really (3:41) present, very much lively, energy up the roof. Oh my God. He will be lifting or she will be (3:47) lifting everyone else.
And that's what I mean by contagious. Now, keep in mind that, and this is (3:57) when you talk about leadership or leaders, the leaders usually go through a lot and they forget (4:05) themselves within deadlines, decisions, strategies, et cetera. Emotional state doesn't (4:11) really stay with them.
It really ripples to the team. And what's really important here is that (4:18) the stress needs to be managed. And it always starts from the top.
When I looked throughout (4:25) my experience, even as a father, always stress starts from the top, not from the bottom or the (4:34) middle and all that, because that's basically where leadership becomes very important. All right. (4:39) So let's deep dive into some of the learnings I picked up from my experience.
The first thing is, (4:47) as I explained to you, is that stress is really contagious. Good or bad. It spreads so quick.
(4:56) Now people and people knows when you're stressed and when you're not stressed. And honestly, (5:06) if you're stressed, you'll be the talk of the day because people love to talk about negative stuff, (5:11) unfortunately. So people will talk about you over conversations while sipping that espresso (5:18) and you are going to be there stressing yourself.
Honestly, you don't want that. (5:27) And trust me, stress doesn't stay in your inbox. It really shows up in your tone (5:33) and it shows in your decisions as well.
And the worst thing is that it shows in your body language, (5:39) smashing the table, using a lot of hand gestures, you know, squeezing up your eyes, (5:45) your forehead like I'm doing now. So reality here is stress really shows up in yourself. (5:53) All right.
And here is the part that leaders often forget. Your team usually take cues from you. (6:05) As simple as that.
All right. So if you are in a good state, they are going to be in a good state. (6:13) What I want you to do right now is don't worry about the solution yet.
Step number one. Don't (6:19) worry about what am I going to do about it? How can I cure myself for now? Just recognize that (6:25) you are stressed. And trust me, if you recognize it, that's 60 percent of the solution.
This is (6:34) what most people ignore. Recognize it. This comes with a lot of stuff that I spoke about in the (6:41) past, like being present, mindfulness, journaling, et cetera.
But recognizing is the most important (6:47) thing. Let me share with you a story. I remember I coached a CEO.
Now he came to me and he was like, (7:00) Saeed, we have a problem in the profitability of the company. And I'm like, OK, let's basically (7:07) dig deep into the situation. What happened is that when he was speaking to me, I could notice (7:15) that the guy was very stressed and he was shaking. And, you know, I could see anxiety was so high (7:23) to the point that I was really stressed myself. And then when he finished, I kept him really, (7:27) I kept him talking. I really did not stop him.
Then I finished and I'm like, (7:31) can I say something? I'm like, do you have you notice your energy when you were speaking to me? (7:36) You were very stressed and you were very anxious. OK, honestly. It's great to be that, (7:45) but not to the point where you are really excessive.
Why? Because when you make decisions, (7:52) you want to be focused. All right. You don't want to rush decisions.
What happens is that when you're (7:59) stressed or when you rush decisions, you're going to be very loud and you're going to start blaming (8:05) people. And honestly, people will feel like, you know what? Honestly, I'm not going to basically be (8:13) part of making a decision. And they're just going to stay silent.
And ultimately, they're going to (8:19) look for you for a solution and a decision. And when I told him that. He was like, I was like, (8:28) what do you think? Like, you know what? It's exactly deja vu.
It's like exactly what happens (8:32) when I go to a meeting. So people are people actually were very nervous around him in the room (8:42) and ultimately they were like, you know what? Screw you, man. You know what? You're going to (8:46) make a decision. Go make a decision. We don't care. I had to work with him a lot to bring (8:53) a little bit of composure into where he is and he is doing much more better today.
(8:58) So recognizing stress, the first thing that really triggered that stress is very important. (9:05) The second thing is that think of how leaders influence team stress. You know, your leadership (9:16) is like a thermostat.
Honestly, you cant be always highly stressed, anxious, because your team (9:22) will be like you. You need to be like a thermostat understanding what really works. (9:27) You are honestly the one who set your team's pace.
If you sprint, they're going to sprint. (9:38) Now, you need to be very much measuring where is your team and where are you actually, because (9:47) then you're going to pace your way according to your team as well. So this is very important.
(9:55) The second thing is your communication shapes their clarity and it doesn't really create (10:03) vagueness or a trush decision and it doesn't really create anxiety within your team. So (10:09) communication is very important. And then the last one is you need to be much more present. (10:16) You need to be much more resilient, I would say. Why? Because when you're calm, it creates that (10:22) safety element within your team. You become much more grounded.
People will feel much more safer (10:30) even to talk. I'll share with you a story. I've been very fortunate to manage a lot of people, (10:38) I mean a lot of managers.
This guy was very unique. We honestly were going through a specific (10:49) situation which wasn't very pleasant and we had to hire someone, honestly. So out of all the people, (10:58) we got this guy in.
Awesome guy. Awesome guy. High potential within his division.
Honestly, (11:06) to be honest with you, high potential. After six months, the performance of that team and (11:13) productivity went up by 20% on an average. And sometimes it went to 100%.
You're puzzled now, (11:26) and I was also puzzled. The guy did not do any new fix. He did not even employ a technology (11:33) that I wasn't really knowing.
What he did is that he was communicating much more clearer. (11:41) I'll be completely honest with you. I was very nervous in the beginning that this guy is not (11:45) a good fit. But what happens is that this guy was holding short talks and really communicating (11:53) frequently with his team because he knew that his team needs to have those regular checks in. (12:02) To be honest with you, I wouldn't even think about that. But that's leadership.
It's all about (12:08) gauging and pacing yourself to your team. The third thing here is managing stress is always (12:16) from the top. Then it basically goes down.
Now, this is where we talk about a solution, (12:24) and I know we all love solutions. I'm going to leave you with a three-step approach (12:30) where you can basically implement to manage stress. The first thing is notice your triggers.
(12:37) What really triggers your stress? Now, the first thing is go through specific situations (12:46) where you feel that your stress is really spiked. Let's talk about these things. It could be a (12:54) repeated behavior from the people around you.
It could be like the AC is not on. I don't know. (13:00) It could be anything.
It could be a target that you did not really meet, or it could be you go (13:06) to a meeting and you have an unfinished conflict. Then when you identify that, you could say, (13:18) when that happens, I shout, or I slam dunk someone, or it could be even you cry. (13:27) Reality here is the first element here is that identify whatever triggers you and what exactly (13:32) do you do? What behaviors come after that? The second thing is don't react for now.
Don't look (13:40) for a solution. People always love solutions. Just note it down and try to contain yourself (13:48) from any reaction.
Do that for a week. What's really important is that you need to identify (13:56) a pattern. Then we go into the third step is that now address that pattern.
What I love (14:05) is that you flip the narrative. Let me give you an example from what I mentioned above. (14:12) Let's say that you are basically now going into a meeting and you know that when you see that (14:21) behavior, you really start bursting.
What you should say is that I'm not going to burst (14:30) because of that feeling. You are now flipping the narratives. Now, when you do that, (14:39) then you're going to regulate the way you react toward that situation.
(14:44) You know, what I'm talking about now is the solution, but the most important thing is (14:52) recognizing why your stress is triggered. That's the most difficult thing. That's why (14:57) what I'm saying is that when you identify and recognize what triggers that stress, (15:04) you already know the solution. Because if that person is the one who's triggering that stress (15:12) on you or that situation, then you're going to recognize, control yourself, and then have a much (15:19) more better way to communicate. That's what I mean. Now, what I like is that when you recognize (15:27) before you communicate, and I know that we rush into communicating, maybe try to take (15:35) a very small breath, honestly, into when you are in that critical moment.
(15:41) And when you go into back-to-back meetings, try to have, for example, a small walk, you know, (15:48) without any technology, very peaceful. Because this really clears up your mind and then you go (15:54) into that situation and you react much more better. But the most important thing is that (16:01) you need to basically recognize, then understand the pattern, and now you know how to handle it.
(16:10) The last thing when it comes to managing stress is that normalize recovery. Now, (16:17) I'll explain that to you. As a leader, you need to show your team that rest is part of performance.
(16:26) Okay? It's not always performing, performing, performing. You can't. You can't just perform.
(16:31) You have to basically rest, recover, and then come back to performance. (16:36) Let me give you an example. It's always nice to end meetings five minutes early, honestly, (16:43) because then people, if they have a meeting or they need to use, for example, the toilet or (16:47) whatever the case is, they're going to have time to basically do that.
This is what I mean by (16:51) resting. Let me give you a story of someone I really admire. This is a leader that I learned (17:02) a lot from.
Honestly, I learned a lot. Every meeting I attend, when this person is leading, (17:09) when I used to be younger, I learned a lot. One of the things that this person does, (17:14) he always finishes ahead of time.
We never cross the time. If we have a meeting for one hour, (17:22) we finish in 45 minutes top, honestly. Now, I'll tell you what happened, and that's what I mean.
(17:31) One time we finished early, and I attended a meeting with someone who was in that meeting. (17:39) Guess what happened? Usually when I attend with that meeting, I'm like, oh my God, when are we (17:46) going to finish? Because this person always starts the meeting, and then we don't know when the (17:51) meeting will finish. It really drags and drags. But that day, after we had that 45 minutes with (17:59) the leader that I admire, he finished five minutes early. Honestly speaking, I was puzzled. (18:08) Do you see what I mean? Very small act, very small act, but it gave your team permission (18:16) really to do the same.
Honestly, I walked out from the meeting, I'm like, oh, alhamdulillah. (18:24) Okay, I was stressed, but not to the point where I'm very much stressed. Very important.
(18:31) Now, these are some of the pitfalls that I'd like you to avoid, because when it comes to stress (18:38) management, this is what comes in your way. The first thing is this hero syndrome. You have that (18:48) feeling that you are the only one in the world that can handle everything else.
Habibi, even (18:54) Superman cannot do that. Reality here is you can't really have the thinking that you can do (19:04) everything by yourself. The second thing is the always-on badge.
This guy is working 24 hours. (19:15) See, you can't, you really cannot. Try to basically now, when you're having this attitude, (19:24) try to work much more smarter, not always-on, always-on, and taking, and taking. (19:30) And then the third thing here is when you're stressed, usually people are silent about it. (19:39) You know? And as much as you may think that silence is the solution, but it's not. (19:48) You know, people today think that when they don't talk about the stress that they go through, (19:55) it's like a weakness.
And they'll be thinking like, oh, if I whine, you know, I'm no man, (20:03) or I'm no woman, or I'm not really courageous enough to be where I am today. So don't really (20:11) go with this mindset or mentality. All right? Now, a key reminder here is that (20:19) leaders who don't really manage their stress, they end up with people leaving, and they're (20:27) gonna be basically the hiring manager instead.
Because what happens is that people will just (20:32) leave, and they will leave you alone. And ultimately, you're just gonna miss targets, (20:38) and you're gonna stress those who are there, and you're gonna stress yourself. (20:44) And you don't want that.
All right? So as a quick recap, stress management always starts from the (20:52) top. And a few things that you should do is that the first thing is recognize that stress is very (21:01) much contagious. That's the first one.
The second thing here is be intentional with pace. Don't (21:08) really be very much high, don't have that high anxiety, high stress. Just be intentional about (21:15) the pace, clarity, and presence.
You want your team to be with you. The third thing here is audit (21:23) triggers, like know what triggers you and stress you, and try to regulate before you communicate. (21:32) And try to model rest and recovery as much as possible.
And the last thing is try to avoid the (21:39) pitfalls that I shared with you, which is hero syndrome, and overworking, and stress, silencing (21:49) your stress. Now, why does this matter? And I speak a lot about stress. You know, today's workplace (22:00) is becoming very demanding.
And people are very much connected in several ways, not like what they (22:07) used to be in the past. And time is becoming fast pace than ever, and it will be even faster. (22:15) Your people today are juggling enough.
And even yourself, even your family, they're juggling enough. (22:24) And the last thing they want is to carry your stress too. What you want, you want to lead with (22:32) calm and not really be passive, you know.
And it's not about being in control of others. It's just (22:41) about being in control of yourself. Why? Because you really want to lead with intention. (22:49) All right, before we close, I want to leave you with this. The best leaders aren't just (22:57) masters of strategy. They are more of human experts.
They understand people. And they are (23:05) masters of their own state of mind. At yuwab, we believe leadership starts with yourself.
(23:14) It's all about self-leadership. So it's with you and no one else. We are here to give you tools, (23:23) story, and mindset shifts to make well-being the anchor of leadership to have a much more (23:31) healthier workplace.
If this episode resonated well with you, subscribe and share it with a (23:38) leader that you respect. Because stress, like can, is very much contagious. All right, (23:48) until next time, take care of yourself and those who you care about.