This episode dives deep into the hidden trap of perfectionism in leadership. Host Saeed Alghafri shares personal stories about how perfectionism can slow progress, increase stress, and derail team performance. He reveals practical strategies to overcome perfectionism, including defining “good enough” early, leading with progress rather than perfection, delegating effectively, setting decision deadlines, and celebrating imperfect wins. The episode encourages leaders to focus on momentum, trust their teams, and embrace iteration for sustained success.
What Will You Learn?
Timestamps:
This episode is a must-listen for any leader struggling with over-perfectionism. It offers actionable insights to foster a healthier work culture centered on progress, team trust, and resilience.
(0:00) You know, when I started my career, perfectionism was something that I would brag about. (0:07) But what happens is that perfectionism is like a costume that leaders wear or hide behind (0:13) most of the time. You know, it looks like as if you are having high standards (0:19) or your commitment to quality or sometimes is the pride in your work.
(0:25) You know, underneath all that, it's like a villain the way I look at it. (0:35) Marhaba and how's it going, everyone? And welcome back to Yuwab. I'm your host, Saeed Alghafri.
(0:42) Yuwab is where we keep it real, no BS involved. If you're here, it tells me that you are prioritizing (0:50) clarity and growth in life and work. And that's why I'm here.
I understand your concerns and (0:56) your frustration. I've been there. I'll guide you through that, through my experience as CEO (1:02) and a well-being coach.
One more thing. If you're new here, special thanks to you and thank whoever (1:10) shared this episode with you. And if you feel this episode is beneficial and someone needs it, (1:18) please share it with someone who needs it as well.
Today's episode is all about a trap. (1:25) And this is something that talented leaders usually fall into. (1:32) You may think it's about lowering your standards, but it's actually a trap that I felt in the (1:39) beginning that it was a quality.
But recently, every time I talk about it, I'm like, thank God (1:49) I don't do it anymore. Why? Because it slows your progress and it increases your stress. (1:57) And what happens ultimately, especially when you lead a team, is your team will quietly, (2:02) your team's quality and effort and performance will be deteriorated.
(2:08) And this is where I found it very useful when I talk about this specific trap. If you find yourself (2:17) tweaking that project over and over and you're hesitating not to delegate because no one can do (2:27) it like you do, or you have that feeling where it's a nagging urge that I can't really move on (2:36) because I need to do this thing right, then you are a perfectionist, my friend. And that's what (2:43) we're going to talk about.
So if you feel that this is you, then this episode is specifically (2:50) for you. So let's dive in. Now, one thing that you need to keep in mind is that leadership is not a (2:58) one style fit.
It's very much adaptable. And if anyone tells you out there, otherwise, please (3:05) send them across to me because I'll tell him what leadership is. You know, when I started my career, (3:12) perfectionism was something that I would brag about. But what happens is that perfectionism is (3:18) like a costume that leaders wear or hide behind most of the time. You know, it looks like as if (3:25) you are having high standards or your commitment to quality or sometimes is the pride in your work. (3:34) But you know, underneath all that, it's like a villain the way I look at it, because perfectionism (3:40) steals your time.
That's number one, because sometimes it's just delayed the project and all (3:46) that. And we'll speak about that for the benefit of that specific tweak. And it drains your energy.
(3:53) Sometimes it's unnecessary to do that. And the most, you know, challenging thing is that it (3:59) slows down your team. And you know, I've been in situations where I was like, this guy's a son of a (4:07) gun.
Just move on, man. Ultimately, what we need to do is we need to balance. I'm not saying (4:13) compromise on quality, but balance your judgment on shall we move on? Or shall we basically tweak (4:22) it for the benefit of a much more better value? Let me share with you a story.
This is the first (4:30) feedback I've done in my life and my career. You know, I've done a self assessment. And then there (4:36) was like this 360 feedback that I got from my peers.
So my bosses and the people who are above (4:44) me, same level and beneath me. And honestly, it was very surprising, because people were like Saeed (4:51) is smart, Saeed is this, Saeed is that, all the good stuff. When we looked at the areas for (4:57) improvement, they were like, this guy is really way ahead. He can't really cope. And honestly, (5:06) I was fortunate to have someone with me who walked me through that report. And this is one of the (5:15) phrases that I will not forget in my life.
The guy told me, slow down, mother, like that. You (5:24) know, just slow down, Saeed. You have to slow down.
If you're out there, just wait for your team. (5:30) Sometimes it's very important to have that composure and work together as a team. And I (5:36) will never forget that.
I can't really say the word, but it was very much sticking in the mind. (5:41) And that whole experience was a breakthrough for me. All right.
So here is what makes this (5:48) villain dangerous. I'm talking about perfectionism. You know, it really convinces you that (5:57) you need to pay attention to each detail because it's really, it matters as equally as everything (6:05) else.
That's the first thing. And sometimes you will have that whispers, okay, that will tell you, (6:13) oh, it's not done and it's not good enough. All right. And honestly, the worst of all them is that (6:22) it really makes you shy from making a bold decision because you want to basically speed (6:29) up on that progress. This is basically what happens when you act as a perfectionist. (6:35) Let me share with you a story that will really paint that picture for you.
I remember we had a (6:43) very important project one time. And the funny thing is that everything around the table (6:52) was convinced that we should go ahead and we should do it so quick. And you know, we're too (6:58) late.
And I'm like, oh my God, I should speed up this thing. What happened was really astonishing (7:05) to me. And not only to me, but also all my team who were working on it. What happened to that (7:12) project is that it just went back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And we were like, why (7:19) we couldn't do this? Why we should not do that? How about doing that? And then ultimately it led (7:26) into a very long delay to launch that project for a specific few tweaks that I didn't feel (7:33) they are important. Well, listen, I mean, what I want you to keep in mind is that, (7:40) yes, they were right.
And all these tweaks that needed to be done. But what happened ultimately (7:48) is that the team lost momentum, honestly. And because this project was linked to other parties, (7:56) which are not beyond our control, and there were like commitments behind it, (8:01) it really led into delaying that project.
So we spent, we wasted a month (8:07) for the, and then for some tweaks. And what happened ultimately is that that project was (8:13) delayed by a year and a half. Can you believe it? A year and a half.
Now, what also happened is that when (8:22) we started the second project, the team felt really fed up. The mindset around that was (8:30) very much downwards. And I had to do a lot of time, a lot of work to basically bring them back (8:36) to the speed that is needed. So I'm sure you are now like, Saeed, enough with the suspense. (8:46) What shall we do about this? So a few things that I have in mind that basically I have (8:54) encountered to basically overcome my perfectionist and what I've seen from people that I coached. (8:59) The first thing is define what is really good enough and much more early ahead of the project.
(9:08) Now, if you do it at the start of any project, all right, it will really give much more clarity. Now, (9:15) imagine that you don't do it. What will happen is that if you are a perfectionist, it will really (9:22) move the goalpost.
You're just going to move it and move it every time you get close to that. (9:27) It would sound like, can we add this? What about adding this? How about we do that? And so on and (9:35) so on and so on. So it's very important to have those identified in the beginning.
(9:41) Once you identify that, the second thing is agree that with your team and also the most important (9:50) person, your boss. Now, let me tell you why this is important, because it's really important to (9:56) set the expectation, okay, on what is really success and what is not a success, especially (10:03) with your boss and with your team. The bosses are much more important when it comes to that. (10:10) When you agree on the expectation with them, this forces everyone to measure against the finish (10:15) line and not, it won't be like a rat race, you know, it won't be like, let's do that, let's do (10:22) this and let's do that. We will have a clear, you will have a clear goalpost and then you're (10:27) going to work on that. So that's the first one, very important.
The second thing is lead with (10:33) progress, not perfectionism. Now, very important is that and keep that in mind. And remember it, (10:44) every time you see me or you go into the office, any leader's job is not to deliver (10:53) flawless work.
Keep that in the back of your mind. It's just to keep the team very much motivated (11:00) and moving forward. That's your job as a leader.
You need to basically motivate the team. Think of (11:09) it as a conductor. You know, when I used to be a kid and I used to use, I used to see concerts or, (11:17) you know, I don't, I don't see opera, but I used to laugh at the guy who was standing show, show us (11:23) his back and then telling people do this, do that.
But that's the conductor. His job is to ensure (11:29) that everything is going as per the progress. So what you, what you want here is really progress. (11:38) Now you may ask yourself why progress is important. Why is it so much important? (11:46) You know, when you have a team, you want to create a momentum. That's the most important thing.
(11:52) When you have that momentum happening, it builds really confidence within the team. So (11:58) work on a progress, have a momentum because ultimately you need to do a confidence. Now, (12:04) you may basically start, and this is like the third thing, and this is something very important.
(12:12) It's better that you have several iterations than you are stagnated. Now, what happens is that (12:21) if you are, let's say doing a medical surgery or you are in a crisis, yes, you can't really (12:27) repeat the procedure again, my friend. So you will have to basically be very precise (12:33) and a perfectionist, right? But when it comes to a project, it's very important to have versions (12:41) because that keeps the momentum and the ball rolling.
Let me share with you a story because (12:46) we all love stories. I remember there was a project that we were trying to move ahead (12:55) several times. And to be completely honest with you, this specific subject, (13:02) everyone thinks that they are the expert, but honestly, they are not. Now, what happened is (13:08) that it had different stakeholders, right? Although I was very much the one who would decide (13:14) ultimately, but again, it's very important to have people alignment. So everyone in that room (13:21) specifically had a say, and we could not really move because everyone wanted to make it perfect. (13:28) We couldn't really move.
And I was like, okay, why don't we come up with version number one? (13:36) Let's come up with one. And I remember it took us six months or eight months (13:44) to reach where we want to be, honestly, because if we just kept really that back and forth, (13:53) we wouldn't even start. But after six to eight months, everyone was aligned and everyone has a (13:59) shared goal toward that specific project because we kept the momentum really going.
And that's the (14:06) important thing. So lead with progress and not really perfectionism. (14:13) The third thing is that, and I see that a lot from people, is that (14:19) you need to basically delegate, you need to delegate the how.
But what I see from people is (14:25) that they do the how, which is not right. Now, what happens is that perfectionist leaders or managers, (14:30) they love micromanagement. This is what happens.
They get into the how, although then they have a (14:39) team. Now, what you need to focus on is the what and the why. Ask yourself, why did you hire them (14:49) if you want to do the whole thing by yourself? This is something that bothers me. Yeah, it's (14:54) frustrating. I know that sometimes with some team members, it gets really frustrating, (14:59) but you will have to basically be very much agreeing on the what and the why and leave the (15:06) how to them and agree on that specific time. Remember, we spoke about agreeing on a deadline (15:11) and a goal post.
This is where now you will have to basically trust the team to do it. (15:17) Now, when you do that, you give your team ownership of the path. They would basically now (15:25) take care of the how.
The what and the why has been agreed on and you've done it. (15:32) Why is that important is that your team will feel much more trusted. (15:38) You are going to reduce stress on you and also on the team, and you're going to have much more (15:46) of a better solution than you could have imagined because you have a collective team, (15:53) collective brains than your brain doing everything and ignoring everyone else.
(15:58) Now, let me share with you a story. This is someone I coached. That person came to me, (16:06) and he was like, Saeed, you know, I really, no one is accountable to me anymore.
(16:15) All right, really, no one is accountable to me. I really have to tell him everything. I have to (16:21) tell them the what, the why, and the how. And I'm like, okay, did you tell them the what and the why? (16:28) He was like, yes, I did. And I was like, did you leave the how to them? And he was like, yes, (16:35) I did. But, now that but iteration came after a lot of discussions with him.
Now, what I really (16:45) got out from that whole discussion is that this guy is a very passionate engineer, (16:53) really passionate engineer. And he really could not really step up because, you know, (16:58) when you are a leader, you should really leave the how to people and you should focus on the (17:04) what and the why more and conduct. And he couldn't really step up.
So, what happened is that he ended (17:13) up doing the how. And eventually, he was like, oh, okay, that's what was happening. Because, (17:20) ultimately, the team, when they saw him there with them, they were like, okay, you know what, (17:24) we do the whole thing, man.
You don't need us anymore. So, that's basically very important (17:31) when you talk about delegation. It takes time.
Delegation really takes time. So, be patient with (17:39) that. The fourth thing here is that set a time limit on decisions. Now, trust me, as a leader, (17:48) your job is to make decisions. Your team is looking at you to make decisions, honestly. (17:55) You know, and I love that.
I'll tell you what happens. When you have leaders or even people (18:03) beneath, they really use perfectionism as an excuse to delay making a decision. I've seen this (18:13) a lot.
Now, why that happens, because when people, when you push people beyond their comfort zone, (18:24) they just create excuses. Oh, we need to do this. Oh, we need to do that.
This is one of the main (18:29) reasons why people really have that perfectionism mask so that they can delay making a decision. So, (18:39) set a decision deadline and stick to it. Even if it's not really perfect, make a decision.
(18:48) Trust me. Wallahi, time is against us. So, yalla, ya akhi, make a decision and move on and basically (18:56) get things rolling.
Now, this one is really very important. What happens is that (19:04) we start a project and then we never celebrate. Really, you don't celebrate.
And I'll tell you (19:10) why that's important. So, this fifth one is celebrate even wins which are not really perfect. (19:18) Now, why we should do that? What exactly do we want from that? We want people to notice (19:25) that we are progressing, even if we're not perfect. Because sometimes when you recognize efforts, (19:33) learning or any delivery, even if it is really not complete or it's really, really flawless, (19:42) what you want, you want people to notice that you're progressing. And again, we spoke about that. (19:49) When you progress, you create momentum and then your team breathes much easier and you produce (19:57) more.
So, that happens when you celebrate these wins. And it's very important. Listen, (20:06) human nature as a people, we are very negative.
Honestly, we go into a project, (20:15) we're very negative. We like to criticize. And even when you basically ask someone, (20:20) what are my strengths, they will give you three and what are my negatives, (20:23) they will give you maybe 10 or 20.
This is normal and it's a human nature. Teach yourself (20:30) that it's good to win, to celebrate the wins. And again, I'm not trying to tell you don't be (20:37) critical.
Be critical, but don't be excessive when it comes to that. (20:45) All right. So, to recap on what we discussed about perfectionism.
The first thing is, (20:53) define the good enough early targets or wins. Very important. The second thing is, lead with (21:02) progress and not with perfectionism.
Don't do that. Make progress the way that you need. (21:11) The third one is, delegate the how.
Even if it was very tempting to basically do the how, (21:20) delegate it. Look for the what. The fourth one is, set some decisive decision-making deadlines, (21:30) even if that thing is not really perfect.
And the last one is, celebrate imperfect wins. (21:40) All right. Before we close, I want to leave you with this.
Yuwab is not just a podcast. (21:48) It's a space intentionally created for you to grow. Here, we empower you with tools, stories, (21:57) and mindset shifts to unlock your full potential, personally and professionally.
(22:04) Our mission is very simple. It's to reach minds like yours and light up more paths like yours. (22:12) But we really cannot do that alone.
I know you care about this mission, (22:17) and I ask you for a simple act. Share this episode or subscribe. That's all what I ask you for.
(22:26) And for this message to reach someone who truly needs it. All right. And I promise you, (22:34) what we're building here is more than content.
It's really transformational. (22:39) And the impact is nothing short of spectacular. (22:43) Until next time, take care of yourself and those who you care about.
(22:48) Ma'a as-salām.